The definitive list of Hollywood’s only successful drops from the only man qualified to make it.
From Beach Blanket Bingo to Blue Juice, they just don’t seem to get it. The list of laughable missteps has come to occupy our daily communication.
Come on and play “Name that film with me,” if you will:
- “When the wave breaks here, don’t be there.”
- “They only live to get radical.”
- “I love the smell of napalm in the morning.”
- “There’s a wave out there, it’s going to be massive, and all I can think about doing is riding it.”
- “He’s not a hodad, Squidlips.”
Did you get ‘em all? (Turn the page to find out.)
But even a blind squirrel finds a nut now and again. And, according to preeminent surf historian Matt Warshaw, these are the only times they did.
Why does he get to decide?
Warshaw — a former Surfer Mag editor, author of the definitive Encyclopedia of Surfing, and curated of the online Encyclopedia of Surfing online archives — has a solid sense of irony, wit, and humanity in his writing, backed by a great talent for translating the cultish, tribal nuances of surfing to mainstream audiences. He’s been doing this for over 40 years now.
Of Hollywood’s shortcomings, Warshaw is our most unbiased critic. As the Encyclopedia states: “Hollywood’s take on surfing has been uneven at best, frequently unprofitable, and almost always unpopular with surfers as well as movie critics.”
But these few gems, in his authoritative opinion, are the times they actually got it right.”
#5 Jeff Spicoli’s dream in “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” (1982)
WARSHAW: “I just love Sean Penn’s whole performance in this movie. It’s an exaggeration, but in some ways, we all know some version of this guy. And while it’s hard for humor to stand the test of time, I still laugh whenever I watch Spicoli.”
#4 The Hangover scene from “Big Wednesday” (1978)
WARSHAW: “I tend to give Big Wednesday a lot of shit, and people tend to give me a hard time for it. But this scene stands up. I’m a huge Gary Busey fan — at least until he flipped out — and I love how he’s negotiating for the board from the kid on the beach. The film goes downhill from here though.”
#3 Gidget wants a surfboard from Gidget (1959)
WARSHAW: “Unlike Big Wednesday, most surfers don’t seem to like Gidget, but I do. The way she’s so excited about this new thing she’s discovered, and how she gives a whole discourse on why her parents should buy her a surfboard, I think that’s a relatable moment in a lot of surfers’ lives.” (Watch part at 18:25 here.)“
#2: Shaping Lesson scene in “Surf’s Up” (2007)
WARSHAW: “Actually, can I just change my whole Top 4 picks to scenes from Surf’s Up? This is the only movie that gets it right from start to finish where Hollywood gets it right. The shaping scene isn’t particularly special in terms of a “surf scene” but it’s just a great character study, with Jeff Bridges reprising his Lebowski character, it’s just two funny people having a good time on screen. Not people. Penguins, which is even better.”
#1 Charlie Don’t Surf from “Apocalypse Now” (1979)
WARSHAW: “If Jeff Spicoli is an exaggeration of one side of surfing, Col. Kilgore is the other side. He represents all the stupid stuff we’ll do for waves, like ditching school, or selling your car to buy a plane ticket, or paddling out when it’s too big. And sure, blowing up a whole village is a bit more extreme, but only kind of. I love how Robert Duvall plays Col. Kilgore because most actors try to study surfers and overplay the way they act. But, as we all know, surfers are just regular people. And Kilgore is just who he is, which is a psychopath.”
Go on, you look like you’re going to say something. Think there’s something we missed? McConaughey, perhaps? Dude from Cincinnati? Surf Ninjas? Well, this channel is just getting started. So…stay tuned.
Thanks for playing along here, Matt. The Encyclopedia of Surfing is a highly entertaining and engaging resource, which includes Warshaw’s popular weekly emailer “The Joint.” Find more at www.eos.surf.
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